Updated: Sep 22, 2021
And stop getting frustrated by your circumstances
Are you resisting your life circumstances? Do you often tend to question the relationship you are in, the job you have, the house you live in, constantly wanting more or resisting in some ways how life is right now? The resistance can show up as frustrations, worries about the future, self-doubts, reliving patterns and mistakes of the past.
You might think that this resistance makes you move forward in life, by not accepting your current circumstances. And it might in some cases where you need a bit of the energy of anger to move you out of paralysis. But more often, this state clouds the mind, making it hard to see if there’s constructive action you could take to improve your situation, and preventing you from being happy in the now.
I was there for a long time. Searching for happiness, contentment, outside of myself.
The state of contentment is very different than resignation or hopelessness, where there is a feeling that nothing can be done, where the energy is stuck. Contentment is a state of being satisfied, at ease with one’s situation at that moment in time. It is a state of wellbeing that does not depend on external circumstances and therefore brings true resilience to the body and mind. It does not mean that life circumstances will not change for the better, it means there is no attachment to the change, the outcome, desires for the future. And in that state, positive changes are more likely to happen, and in the meantime you are happy NOW.
Here are a few ways you can start cultivating contentment.
Ask yourself “Is there anything between me and contentment in this moment?” Close your eyes, allow the answer to come. If there is, allow what ever is coming up to come up, give yourself permission to feel it. Allow the river of emotions to flow. Know that this is all OK. Allow the sensations in the body to be experienced with no resistance. Observe those sensations on a physiological level. What do you feel in your body right now? Be precise. For example: “I feel a tightening in my solar plexus area, it seems that my breath is stuck, I can’t breathe properly and there is some tighness in between my shoulder blades and my jaw.” With the eyes closed, repeat to yourself “This is all OK.” Bring a sense of acceptance to your situation. Maybe remember a time where you accepted something as simple as there was no more of your favorite food at the store. Observe how acceptance feels in your body. Acceptance is a state of non-resistance, so you might feel lighter, calmer, mindful. Bring this acceptance to your situation right now, to your body sensations, to your life.
Breathe… breathe in , breathe out until you stop wanting anything to be different.
Intentionally bring attention to the goodness in your life when it arises The human mind tends to latch on to the negative events, words, situations that happen in life, they leave an imprint in our psyche, much more than the positive ones. So when things are good, pause, notice, feel what wellness feels like, accentuate that feeling. Feel a growing sense of “OK’ness”. Create that imprint in your body. Maybe even anchor that feeling with a deep breath in, a touch on your skin, something that will help you access that state when you need it. The more you cultivate this state, the easier it will be to access it when you need it.
3. Spend time outside in nature
Nature has an uncanny ability to bring us back to our true natural state. Connect to the elements of nature, which are part of ourselves. Allow yourself to bath in it, walk slowly and pause, observe, listen, breathe, smell, touch the grass, the trees… Model how nature is content with itself.
4. Cultivate gratitude
Everyday, bring to mind a few things you appreciate in your life. It can be small like the air you breathe, the sun on your cheeks, the food on your plate, the trees you see from your window, or bigger things like the people in your life, your kids, partners, friends…. your work, your colleagues, your home…
Whatever you truly appreciate. Close the eyes, take a breath and give yourself permission to experience gratitude in your body.
Gratitude can be quite an overwhelming feeling moving through you, like a wave in the ocean. Just allow this flow of energy. Welcome it. Accentuate it. Enjoy it. Imprint it in your body. Repeat outloud: thank you…. thank you… again and again… Feel the warmth of gratitude around you. Feel the sincerity of it.
5. Trust that it is possible for you to access a state of contentment.
Trust that it is possible for each of us to access a state of contentment. May all beings allow, access and cultivate a state of deep contentment.
Needing support in this intentional cultivation of higher states, let’s have a chat! Check-out our 12-week program, a mind body journey to discover and cultivate a higher state of being. www.fearlesslyyourself.com.
Dorothee Marossero Msc, MBA, NLP Master Practitioner, is a transformational coach, creator of Fearlessly Yourself and Dottyoga. She uses Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Yoga, mindfulness, somatic and self-care approaches to bring sustainable and deep transformation to women around the world. www.fearlesslyyourself.com